"I don't have any particular recipe [for developing new proofs] ... It is like being lost in a jungle and trying to use all the knowledge that you can gather to come up with some new tricks, and with some luck, you might find a way out." - Maryam Mirzakhani <3

Don't worry about me, I am happy, I am fine, I have access to an instance with $70k worth of GPUs, etc. etc. via my brother (in fact, his cs thesis advisor retired so I can talk to him on Zoom whenever bc he said that, I can talk to him whenever). I have my cancer genomics model to work on for my apps bc there are some M S K ppl I want to work with as well that I did not think of before. I have a bunch of other stuff in repositories I will make public in the Fall.

I am happily lost in a jungle, trying to find my way out bc inshallah I know I will.

You have no enemies, you say?
Alas, my friend, your boast is poor.
He who as mingled in the fray
of duty that the brave endure
must have made foes. If you have none,
small is the work that you have done.
You've hit no traitor on the hip.
You've dashed no cup from perjured lip.
You've never turned the wrong to right.
You've been a coward in the fight.
- Charles Mackay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diGu87kjcso

I'm certainly not a coward in the fight, never was, never will be.

Maybe pictures, but I really have to study & I have more 0.3 mm pencils to buy actually, watching the Sopranos and a 2000s sci-fi anime about AI for maybe inspiration etc. etc. not looking at anything bc he says "treasure your attention" (https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYVRDyDlRh8/) & he's right, not just companies, but ppl (like u) are trying to take my attention away.

I'm such an outlier when I walk around outside, it's not just the accomplishments that have made me an outlier but also the bad stuff too -- I dunno, I'm such an interesting person, I wouldn't trade my life with anyone else's.

Last thought, you know, when I was a Bioinformatician III @ Sampled (I got laid-off like other ppl), some one who was really important in an in-person meeting shared, that that company competes with the Broad Institute for something they do (in terms of customers -- I know what it is but I won't write it down here), in-fact they compete for the #1 spot with them. So your competition should not be (lol) Penn or Cedars, it should be the Broad Institute and etc. On that note, (as you know, I read books on how competitive ppl in sports operate/get coached) A-level players in sports are different than B-level players and they're different from C-level players and etc. There is a certain elegance and finesse to competition and showing-off, i love reading about that whole thing -- but you have to know your limits and I've enjoyed it in my iGEM team (I liked showing off there) -- but you have to have been taught how to be successfully competitive and again the elegance and finesse of competitiveness and showing-off, and if you never learned it, that means, you were never taught it that means that if you pick a fight with me, it is unlikely that you will win (and you will find yourself in front of a Judge sooner or later). I think the B-level players can be the most dangerous, bc they're putting in the same number of hours as the A-level players but aren't as good and if they can't handle that, that's how you get Tonya Harding <-> Jason Moore (he's actually a C-level player, there's nothing special about him) and etc.

We will re-group in Sep/Oct 2026.

Yes, it does turn out that the certain elegance and finesse of being successful at competition and showing-off was never taught to Jason Moore (C-level player), ever, especially not by his no-name thesis advisor or through his very average education background ROTFL

one last thing, a summary of some tiktoks too. if you are an A-level player, you know, you can't be around B or C-level players for a number of reasons. there's the "crab mentality (also known as the "crabs in a bucket" effect) is a behavioral phenomenon where individuals attempt to undermine or pull down anyone in their group who achieves success, usually driven by jealousy, insecurity, or a zero-sum mindset: "If I can't have it, neither can you."" but then they also end up using your resources. then there's the whole parasocial interaction world, one-sided relationships (e.g. you're a celebrity to them) so if you are an A-level player, dont give access to yourself to ppl not in your league. it's just what it is.

it's as i keep saying, there is a certain elegance and finesse to competitiveness and showing-off & i enjoy both of those things (i went to a competitive hs in an upper middle class town etc. and ppl do really well from my hs for a reason) if you pick a fight with me, i have no problem putting you in your place, no problem what-so-ever & as many times as i need to by reminding you who you are (regardless of however much you're hiding behind a screen) & who i am. and in one example, as if i didn't already by resigning, getting better interviews immediately etc.

if you eventually lose your job when you were trying to be competitive (i.e. you have nothing going on but you're competing anyway as if you do) and showing-off, it means, you were not successful at being competitive or at showing off & that is my whole point that i will make, absolutely, you bet. #newyorkerarticleoneday

I enjoyed my time at M S K for the following reasons. 0. it proved that i keep improving since M S K is ranked higher than penn (& cedars so anything u can do, i can do better lolsad u loser) 1. my first on-site i realized, if im here (right next door), why didnt i get that position with you guys so now there was proof something went wrong there & i wanted find out what it was 2. i realized there were really great places to work with a great work culture (with complete cancer genomics nerds) that supported (not pushed out) women in comp bio so a part of me was sad I didn't end up at M S K in 2015 3. i was the top pick from the pool and i did it with my undergrad degree which still enables me to stand on my own two feet to this very day (granted I invested in learning things/skills) 4. I realized how much more I could contribute to that group/cancer center if I had an adv degree and more experience 5. I can understand very quickly the difference between a serious person in bioinfo/comp bio and a non-serious person based on how/what they write/present and part of that is bc for the previous two positions, I've dealt with actual patient sequencing data. there is no room whatsoever to work with a dishonest or a careless person in science if one wants to deal with actual patient sequencing data. you need to be a very strategic person too in making decisions (i.e. writing code) & i am a very strategic person so i know when someone is not 6. there's a lot to learn 7. this cancer stuff made me sad, actually, and nobody told me that, that clinical comp bio can actually make you sad so i had to figure out ways to not be (and im a happy person, i don't always get sad but some of that stuff made me sad) 8. my time at M S K changed my life for the better. its ok if i take a break and build new skills for the next thing 9. in comparison with my time at penn, it just adds more weight to the fact that, that whole thing from 2015-2017 was a complete waste of my time, absolutely, i should have left after the first week or after the grad level biostats class i took ended in may 2016. i remember thinking that during the second on-site at M S K, literally, i was like, that whole penn thing was a complete waste of time. 9. it is very important to be a confident person in comp bio 10. this stuff is really difficult & very complex but i like the ppl working in it